Okay, just so we’re clear - this blog isn’t going to turn into some kind of anti-Loeb forum - god knows I’d rather be reading good comics than reviewing his bad ones - but it’s also not my fault that Hulk #2 and Ultimates #3 came out the same week.  It IS my fault that I gave his Hulk run a second chance, though. I do genuinely love the Hulk as a character, and foolishly, I thought it couldn’t get any worse than issue #1…

The issue opens with Iron Man, Maria Hill and She-Hulk investigating the murder of the Abomination by the Hulk. (I’m not going to mention that Stark and Shulkie weren’t really on speaking terms at the end of Civil War. Oh, oops.) Doc. Samson and Thunderbolt Ross are around, though largely off-panel, and it’s never mentioned what they learnt from Banner last issue, if indeed anything.

They ascertain that the gun the Hulk used to shoot the Abomination was SHIELD-issue, although they do conveniently sweep under the rug any reason SHIELD would need a gun big enough for the Hulk to shoot. Suddenly, the Red Hulk appears, smashing their new Helicarrier up something chronic. At the same time, someone - either the Red Hulk or someone affiliated with him - unleashes a virus on SHIELD’s computer system that wipes all information about the Hulk clean as he escapes.

Later, Rick Jones, last seen half-naked in the Alaskan Wilderness, has hitched a ride to Gamma Base. Here, he is attacked by the Red Hulk, who makes some vague proclamations about how he thought Rick was dead, and how he’s upset that he’s not. This makes Rick angry, and as we know, in Hulk books, you won’t like it when someone gets angry. He begins “hulking-out” - except he’s not a Hulk. He’s an Abomination. A Blue Abomination. Who calls himself…

Deep breaths….

A-Bomb.

Now, seriously. I know that it’s almost unreasonably difficult to come up with new character names that don’t sound stupid after 60 years and millions of comic characters, but seriously? A-Bomb? And he’s blue because… well, why exactly? Are confusing colour changes just what’s happening now? Expect to see a Purple version of the Leader! A Pink Wendigo! Doc Samson with Indigo hair! Hey man, everyone’s doing it! Let’s sing us a whole freaking rainbow of re-coloured Hulk characters!

Some people aren’t fans, but I find McGuiness’ art largely enjoyable. The action sequence on the exterior of the Helicarrier is undeniably fantastic, and reminds me most of Frank Cho’s Mighty Avengers work. McGuinness, if nothing else, is doing a really great audition for an Iron Man book. With a decent script, I’m confident I could enjoy a McGuinness-pencilled title, but as we know - good art can’t save bad writing. Van Gogh couldn’t salvage this mess.

The Red Hulk does actually show up in this issue, so we’re at least improving slightly in that regard, but let’s not kid ourselves - you’d need to be a real masochist to want to read issue 3 after this nonsense. For now, the Hulk title and I are going to be parting ways. In the mean time, well, I hesitate to say again, but for anyone looking for some decent Hulk action… Ultimate Human…

Tags: Ed McGuinness, Hulk, Jeph Loeb
Publisher: Marvel